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Tuesday, December 31

Rosy Cheeks, Sleepy Eyes

My son, oh my little precious toddler, he is my shadow. This stubborn little rosey cheeked child has yet to realize we are no longer attached by the umbilical cord. 

I keep telling myself that these are years that matter! I will miss these days and I know it's true. I feel a great deal of shame for the words I write next but I will feel better once they are lifted from my thoughts. 

My two year old refuses to sleep in his own bed. Somewhere in the middle of the night he will sneak into my bed. I wake up being kicked, slapped, and my body twisted and knotted to accommodate the amount of space a two year old needs to sleep. 

I feel it nessecary to leave him on the pillow he stole from me and head out to the living room. I sneak as quietly as it is humanly possible. I learned this technique from rearing my five year old in infancy. 

He must have super sonic hearing though, I turn around to see my handsome toddler sleepily looking up at me in confusion. I scoop him up and we cuddle as we watch the news but I'm dying inside to have a little quiet time in the morning. 

The morning is my time to unwind before I deal with the chaos of the day ahead. It's the time when the house has yet to have time to even wake. It was my time to be selfish. I could dance or eat candy or play games I longed to play but couldn't when my kids were around. The best thing I remember is catching up on tv shows or books I really wanted to read. 

But here's my two year old sitting next to me, we watch the sun rise together. My only thoughts are how I will miss these days with him as he grows into his own person and maybe, just maybe, I'll get my time tomorrow. 

<3 Dayija~mobile 

Sunday, December 29

≡New Things for 2014

I'm in like Flynn

What do I have in works for myself in 2014?

     First in foremost putting my kids first. I'll be the first to admit 2013 was hard on my two boys. There has been so many changes for them in the last two years that it's time I focus on their personal needs and comfort. School is another goal I plan to keep up with in the new year. What's my major?

     English of course! I'm excited to better myself and finally do something I'm excited for! And it's a chance for me to go to school with my bff! We can work on our relationship and learn together! I ♥ my hubby!

     Let's keep the the blog going in 2014, Dayija. I want to keep record of my weight loss and my school progress. Maybe a little bit of random chatter that comes to my mind.  

     Excuse me, I'm watching Dr. Phil and it's distracting me...

So to wrap things up! 2014 will be about:

  • Family
  • School
  • Weight Loss
  • My Writing (in the "Short Stories" tab)  
  • Videos?
  • Spotlight on Mental Illness

Get ready 2014...I'm bringing it!


Thursday, December 26

In the Beginning there was Embarrassment

     The joys of being five:
We went out to eat the day after Christmas. My five year old had done so well at his five-year check up Dad an I felt he deserved a treat for being so brave. 

Midway through the meal my husband excused himself from the table with my brave five year. When a give year old has to go, they have to go! 

Upon the return from the bathroom my five year blurts out that his dad had "farted" while in the bathroom. While it had embarrassed me, I can't fathom how mortified my husband became (even from his facial expression) in that moment. 

The tension grew in the small booth we occupied and I did what I knew best. I laughed. What was there left to do at that point? I found my husband laughing and our boothe neighbors sharing in the laughter of my five year old's unfiltered thoughts. 

I think we've officially been welcomed into the world of being five...and I think I'm going to enjoy it!

Wednesday, December 25

Am I a little Bitter? (Holiday Post)

     The answer to that is probably yes the spirit of the holidays I think a much need break is due. I'm thankful for my family, my friends, and the opportunities that have been granted to me. I am thankful that I have a chance to write again! It'a a wonderful feeling!

     I write to no one but myself to satisfy my need to put my thoughts down somewhere and it just feels great to do so! Especially since, in a few week, I will be going back to school to earn my English degree. I'm staying positive in 2014! Bring on the chaos and the drama! I've been through a lot this year and it's only made me stronger!

     Happy Holidays! And remember: "You are smart and beautiful! Do something great today!"

Tuesday, December 24

Holidays Bring Out the "Best" in Us

     Ugh! People are just crazy out there this time of season. When it is to the point that I have to take a Xanax before heading out the door, we got a problem.

     Two accidents were passed on our way home after only being out for two hours! People, be safe out there! It is not that serious to but you and/ or your family and others at risk of being hurt.

I'm coming down from my soap box,


Monday, December 23

Take Things for Granted

    While I've been on hiatus, I've been busy trying to start a career for myself outside of being a mom. I landed my first job shortly after we moved to our new home. I couldn't believe how easy it was for me to slide into a new position with a great company.

     I quit that job on the 18th of December after being there for only a year and a half. Why? Personal issues came up and I needed to put my children first but it ultimately fell upon the fact that management was terrible. I started my career in health care with dreams of making an exceptional difference in people's lives but as I soon found out, that is not the case.

     I quit my job because I felt invisible, like people were told to do something and that was just the way things were. We were the worker bees or the hands-on people on the front line but we didn't get a say in any of the decisions. Decisions, at some times, made no sense to the ones who had to hand out these decisions to the patients they dealt with. These patients that sought refuge from all the pain they couldn't control from the comforts of their homes.

    There's another calling out there for me that I have been ignoring for so long. I was good at my job and I know I'll miss it but it's time to stop with the extra additives and get down to what makes me. The things I've take for granted because I was too worried about making enough money to get by. The answers have always been in front of my face but I've been to afraid to look at them.

     I begin my journey and hoping, that with these final strokes on my keyboard, I will rid myself of the latest devastation in my life. The latest hurts I've experienced from the hands others. Power has been used against me and shattered my spirits. I've also learned a lot from my recent experience, though. I was angry at first but I'm getting past it. I felt stabbed in the back, that I was told one thing to my face and another behind my back.

These daggers are slowly being removed and this is the beginning of a new day for me. I've got so much more potential than sitting behind that desk. And with that I feel I've let the distrust leave my is officially my past!

♥ Dayija

Sunday, December 22

How do you spell "Good"?

 I made this board outside my kids room to showcase their art. I would've but Creative Art or something along those lines but the decals I used limited me to two or three R's (I can't remember). 

So "Awesome Job" it was! Although halfway through putting up the words I cursed myself because it was taking too long (hubby and I had just finished decaling *new word* their room). Looked down at the letters left and realized I could've just put up "Good Job" instead but my kids are awesome! If it makes them feel good about themselves then I feel good!

Here's the "Awesome" board:

Saturday, December 21

A Wolf Covered in Sheep's Clothing

The good ol' betrayal behavior.  We let these people into our lives and feel safe around them, just so they can pull the wool over your eyes. Yes this post is riddled with clich├ęs. Be carful who you let into your circle of trust because they could be waiting for the perfect opportunity to see you at your lowest. Waiting to beat you while you're down. 

They feed you compliments and praises only to realize that it's been bull shit the whole time. I don't know how many cooks made the meal but it's time to politely excuse myself from the table. 

Friday, December 20

How to be a mom

Background: I lived with my parents for a few weeks while my husband was out of town. 

To this day my mother will get up early, make breakfast, coffee or tea (I prefer tea) and dress my kids before her and I would head off to work. 

When I was younger I always thought that my mom was amazing and that I'd be like her. That somehow when you became a mom you gained these "super powers". You could do anything and get up the next day and do it all again. 

Flash forward to today and here I am barely cracking an eyelid to the rising sun. My kids are past out beside me because I was too tired to keep telling them to go back to their own beds. My husband is already sleep and will continue to do so. 

The kids wake up, I rummage through the pantry. Cereal? Nope. Waffles? Not right now. Oatmeal? Yuck! Breakfast bar? Well what do you want? An apple! Well those had been eaten up yesterday. Yes, a big bag I had gotten three (3) days ago is now gone. 

My kids are devastated. They're crying and telling me how mean I am. So an ultimatum ensues. You eat what I give you or you eat nothing. Cereal becomes the choice. Great because now we're down to twenty minutes before they need to be at preschool. I sit them down withe their respective bowls and grab the clothes I laid out the night before. 

Coming back in the kitchen, my oldest tells me he's not hungry. I sigh and think "Let's just get to school. No use I'm arguing." Getting dressed becomes a game of tag. One finally has a new diaper on and runs off to find his brother. I get up to chase them and grab the other brother. 

"Put your shirt on!" He thinks he's funny and puts it on backwards. Let's just rewind to the point, shall we?

After dropping the kids off twenty minutes late, I head back home and sit at the table where the soggy cereal bowl rests. "These kids are gonna kill me."

I don't know how my mom does it but I definitely don't have those super powers I so admired. I'm just thankful to get the kids safely from point A to B and when they eat, I thank God for that. 

It's hard being a mother but without the chaos what fun would that be? 

Saturday, December 14

Homeless items

Does anyone have that one thing in your house that you can't throw away but you have no idea what the hell it's for? Maybe some of you have a few things like that. 

I have this bag of extra parts that came with our washer and dryer that we bought in 2007! 

This bag haunts me. We've moved several times since we've bought this washer and dryer duo and each new home we settle in here's this bag taunting me:

"Hey, how's it going? Long time no see, right. I see we got a new place and, uh, since I'm part of the family just wondering where I'll be staying. I see the kids are set up on their rooms, so you know..."

And I just feel pressure. I mean I don't want to hurt its feelings by saying you got to go. I mean what if we need it later, try to find it and there's a letter waiting for me that reads:

"Eff you! You had your chance!"

My neck, my poor neck

I've read a few post in my hiatus that speak of inspirational words or complain about politics and economies but this is not one of them. 

I'm here to type what I want so that I spend less time annoying people on my Facebook page. 

     Anywho, my neck always hurts in the morning. I've got tension and lots of stress. I've never had a message in my afraid. There's this separator in my bed, that I'm sure some of you also have in your homes, that causes my neck to become so sore come morning. 
     I've tried getting rid of it but it's too heavy. My husband is fed up with the separator in our bed as well and has tried removing it several times, but we both fail each time. I'm pretty sure my husband still gets his adaquete sleep though. 
     I don't regret this divider of beds but it's time that it moves onto its own bed. I need peaceful sleep so I don't need to take Motrin for breakfast. My kids deserve a better mom than that, right. One doesn't get much sleep because of this separator,killing my back, in bed. 
     I've been told that it won't stay there for the full 18 years and I believe that, I do but two years is too long. I want my neck to stop hurting before the first day of my second child's first day of school. My neck hurts and Motrin cereal has no nutrition, not even any marshmallows!

Sent from the mobile assistant, excuse the typos it doesn't know how to use spell check and never finished college.