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Saturday, January 14

With a Boob SHOVED Down My Throat

Anyone feel like this sometimes?

You make that big decision to have a child and you think you're golden! All the dreams you've had about having a baby since you were a little girl. Baby food, diapers, rocking chairs, the numerous cute and adorable clothes you can't wait to put your little one in, etc. Only to have them broken in two, shattered to the floor and smeared in front of your face (by who, you might ask?)

Let's call them the mommy squad...or better yet: The Mommy Brigade!

Oh, how I wish someone would have told me about them prior to having my first child. The only people in the world I thought I had to worry about hearing unwanted opinions from was family and close friends but once that baby comes, sorry to say, you tend to have a whole council you have to answer to about raising your little bundle of joy.

Breast is Best, Back to Sleep, Baby Led Weaning, Baby Wearing, Cloth Diapers, Nursery Water, Crying it Out?

What in the world??? What are you talking about???

"I plan on feeding my baby the best formula out there...well that my pocketbook can afford."

"Well...I guess if you want to feed your baby poison...obviously someone does not care about their child's health."

"Excuse me?!? I just sat four months with my feet up and read countless pamphlets on Cord Blood Banking and the benefits of NOT circumcising my little boy!"

"Breast is best, ya know."

Bring on the guilt trip! Have you had a conversation like that or something similar? What about this?

"I don't think I can breastfeed milk supply is running low and baby isn't getting enough. My nipples, they're cracked and bleeding."

"Just keep nursing and make sure you have a proper latch."

"Well what is that suppose to look like?"

"It's not suppose to hurt and make sure baby has his mouth wide open. You have to hold your breast with one hand, hold baby's head with other and keep baby's mouth open wide."

Alright...Soooo I need three hands in order to breastfeed? How perfect! It's not suppose to hurt either? I'm sorry, last time I checked having a newborn latched to your nipple for an extended time is NEVER pain free. Really???

So...I got this breastfeeding thing down by the time I had my second child and boy have I learned A LOT!!! I thought I was a bad mom for not breastfeeding my first but redeemed my self with my second. Are the heavens singing yet?

Take that Mommy Brigade!

But now, I've stepped into a whole new world of criticism...Oh boy, here we go!

Exclusively Breast Fed?

Screw having nipple confusion, you shouldn't even be thinking about giving them a bottle. What kind of mom are you??? Your baby needs YOU not a substitute. It's okay for them to nurse ALL DAY and you get absolutely NOTHING done. 

"When baby cries, they're hungry, you have to nurse!"

"Well, I mean, I just fed him."

"You are starving your baby. Breastfed babies are not on a schedule and they can eat any time." 

"I should make him a bottle then."

"No, you can't make him a bottle, you have to nurse because you don't know how much he needs. Plus, your screwing up your milk supply."

I don't know where to go from here...isn't breastfeeding suppose to be enjoyable? Suppose to be a great bonding time with your baby? Well, it's been hell for me! I dread when I have to nurse in public and feel as though the whole world is staring at me while doing so.

Can't tell you how many breastfeeding pictures I've seen on social networking sites...I get it! You're a proud nursing mama! Good for you but I really don't need to see you and baby nursing in all his Monday through Sunday bibs.

I don't need to be reminded that cows don't use covers when their little calf is nursing. I don't care! No, I don't need to be reminded that men take offense to a baby hanging off a boob but drool over a model in some skimpy secret brassiere. 

Get over it and stop shoving a boob down my throat!!!

I write this post for moms like me, I know they're out there...the ones who have no idea what they're doing. Well, if you've experienced anything above, you're doing a great job! Everyone is different and have their own experiences. Do what's best for you and remember that somethings are hard to get through but life is hard sometimes. Just don't give up in your beliefs and you'll be rewarded!

But please...stop shoving...m'kay?
you know who you are ;-)


  1. I desperately wanted to breastfeed my son when he was born. He had to stay in NICU because he was premature and the lactation nurses would rush through there and I would get LITERALLY two minutes of their time, they would get him attached nicely and say "there you go!" and a few minutes later he was off and I couldn't get him back on. I finally got home with him and called to try to get help and the ONE lactation lady in the small town I lived in was not available....she was on maternity leave! My heart breaks to this day that I wasn't able to accomplish that goal....even though I loved the (shhhh don't tell...schedule!) of every 4 hour feedings. ;o)

  2. I breastfeed each of my two daughters and until they were 19 months and people used to always ask how long was I going to breastfeed them.


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